Monday, November 30, 2009

Madeleine Albright's Friends Need Your Money to Fight Terror

I got an email from Maddy Albright today.

In it, she warned me about how those big, bad Republicans are coming to get me:
Dear Stuart,

Double your impact. Help the DSCC fight the lies and save 20% on items in the DSCC store! Deadline: Midnight tonight. Contribute.

I believe in diplomacy - but sometimes actions speak louder than words.

Tea-partiers and other ultraconservatives are pushing the Republican Party perilously far to the right. They have no interest in working with President Obama as he leads our nation in a way that reflects our highest values and our deepest hopes. They are committed to making sure our president fails - and to regaining control of the U.S. Senate.

We face a choice. We can allow the right-wing radicals to reverse the long overdue progress we have made in the past year, or we can fight back.

Wow...extremism and dishonesty have come to the Republican party! I had no idea!

Thinking back, I guess it first crossed my mind that the GOP had become slightly..."radical" when they admitted to "the sale of weapons via intermediaries to Iran, with the profits being channeled to the Contras in Nicaragua." That sort of struck me as a fairly strange theory of how government should be run, but since there were no consequences for the participants, and nobody in the establishment political press corps talked about it ever again, I guess it just stayed an inkling.

I was reminded of this inchoate impression again when the Republican Congress took the opportunity to impeach a Democratic President over a blowjob. It somehow seemed odd to me that this took place during a period of almost nonstop accusations of (and Congressional investigations into) alleged criminality on the part of the Executive, including the First Lady's involvement in murder.

I just had to wonder a little bit about the Republican right when one of them wrote a best-selling book during wartime in our country called "Treason: Liberal Treachery from the Cold War to the War on Terrorism (Paperback - Oct 5, 2004)," in which I (and millions of my terrified, shoeless-in-line-at-the-airport, duct tape-purchasing fellow Americans) was informed “Everyone says liberals love America, too. No, they don’t.”

I couldn't help but notice that things might have gotten a little bit out of hand on the right when one of their leading online voices published a book entitled "In Defense of Internment: The Case for Racial Profiling in World War II and the War on Terror (Hardcover)," which was not some kind of perverse metaphor, but literally concentration camp apologia that detailed "how both Japanese American and Arab/Muslim American leaders have united to undermine America's safety." I don't know; somehow, when it was proclaimed by Maglalang's blurb-writers at Regnery that these books were meant to "outrage, enlighten, and radically change the way you view the past-and the present," I just wasn't able to put it together that the right was, you know, radical. more. Maddy Albright has opened my eyes.

And, do you know what else? As incomprehensible and shocking as this might seem, apparently the rightists have some kind of organized "message machine," as it were:

Click here to make a donation of $5 or more to the DSCC. Every dollar you give will be matched, doubling its impact, and you will receive a coupon code for 20% off items at the DSCC Store. Give today. Victory depends on it.

Unfortunately, in today's political environment, it is not enough to have better ideas; it is also necessary to get our message across to our fellow citizens. Thus, in order to defeat our right-wing opponents, we must also back our principles with our wallets. The DSCC's November deadline is today, and the committee must raise $98,765 or risk losing Democratic control of the Senate in 2010. Since it is so crucial that we meet our goal, a group of senators will match your timely gift, effectively doubling its impact. In return, you will receive a code worth 20% off items at the DSCC Store, where every purchase helps our candidates.

"Necessary to get our message across"? I had no idea! I thought that folks like Maddy were supposed to go on Meet The Press every once in a while, sit genially next to Huckleberry, and talk hopefully about the Republican President laying out "benchmarks" for the Iraqi government to meet, instead of a deadline to get the crap out. I couldn't have known that, all along, Maddy was just itching to get "our message across" to folks who'd had enough of our kids getting blown up just so that the bipartisan, Serious Foreign Policy establishment could save face.

...And when I think of defeating "our right-wing opponents", the first battalion of unconquerable warriors that comes to mind is the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee. Isn't that everyone's Family Feud Lightning Round answer?

Q: Name something you stand in line for...

A: Ahhh...Roller coaster ride...?

Q: Name something you'd bring a teacher...

A: Umm...An apple...

Q: Name an organization supremely dedicated to the political annihilation of the lunatic, rightist opposition...

A: The DSCC!

Yes, for every dollar spent, a "a group of senators will match your timely gift." Hmm...a "group of Senators" somehow so recently flush with cash that they could give up their own money to help the cause of re-electing other incumbent Senators...would that be members of the Finance Committee, perhaps? The Gang of Six?

Our reputation abroad is finally beginning to heal. Each day, President Obama is sending a message that America wants to work as a partner with friends around the world to build a future based on law, justice, human rights, and a commitment to peace. We cannot afford to lose all that we have gained. We have a duty to show the world that the real America - the best America - is back.

Holding the line will not be easy. The Republican Party is more energized now than it has been in years. Only three times since the Civil War has the party holding the White House gained congressional seats in midterm elections. We cannot let the Republicans surge ahead.

Please click here to make a donation of $5 or more to the DSCC and receive your coupon code. It must raise $98,765 by midnight tonight to defend our Democratic majority in 2010. Every dollar you give will be matched, doubling its impact. Progress depends on your donation.

The president is doing his part to move our country in the right direction; we need to do ours. President Obama needs help from Congress to bring about the change that he promised. He needs a Democratic Congress.

Oh! I get it!

How do we finally know after all this time that the Republicans are radical rightists?

They're preventing Democratic Senators from helping President Obama "bring about the change that he promised."

"Energized" Republicans are undermining our brave President's plan, message that he wants to someday "build a future based on law."

"Progress depends on your donation"..."We cannot let the Republicans surge ahead"..."we can fight back"...

Get used to it. Get just as accustomed to this line of attack as you've become to taking your shoes off at the airport. Get used to being afraid --very afraid-- of Democrats "losing control of the Senate" because you fucked up and didn't support centrists like Blanche Lincoln through your contribution to the DSCC.

Get used to being blamed for your lack of enthusiasm for President Obama, because you were stupid enough to read his "hope n' change" message too literally, you stupid ideological purist, you. Stupid! Purist! He never said that! You obviously heard what you wanted to hear! How could have possibly done all of those things? He's not suicidal! What about those terrifying, radical, right-wing Republicans? Aren't you afraid enough of them to shut up right now about our President Obama?

Didn't you watch Olbermann or Maddow last night? They bring guns to political support the radical idea that the Second Amendment applies to them! They are scared of the federal government that invaded the wrong country and killed a hundred thousand innocent people! "Tree of Liberty!" "Blood of Tyrants and Patriots!" Normal people who are angry enough to become political activists! Be afraid! Be tribally afraid of these other Americans!

Don't criticize your own. Hate the other. Be afraid. It's your fault that they're winning.

Get used to being told to shut the fuck up, lest you blow it for everyone. Get used to being told to put your principles in the back drawer until we get 2010 wrapped up --then told to "back our principles with our wallets."

What if you were to linger a moment too long on what exactly Maddy means by "our principles?" What if you fail in your responsibilities as an ATM for the DSCC? Don't you realize that "Victory depends on it?" You and your shameful, negative, perhaps unconsciously racially motivated ideological purity and stubborn naivete are the reason why the Democratic base will be insufficiently enthusiastic for the midterms! You simply aren't afraid enough of Republicans to properly appreciate just how wonderful Democratic Senators are!

Thanks, Maddy, for these terror-inspiring...sorry, sober and pragmatic words of political wisdom. To think that I might have forgotten how radical and right-wing the Republicans have become in the 13 months since they started to criticize President Obama! They're so much scarier than the Democrats who won't do what we elected them to do...

There is no other option.


Madeleine Albright

That's right. With the New Democrats fully in control of the Democratic leadership, there really is no other option, is there?

We go to war with the Democrats we have, not the Democrats we wish we had. It's not like we can, you know, somehow change the Democratic party's leadership with all of our money, and effort, and time, and words and votes...correct? We need to be more terrified of the Republican right...not the Democratic center?

I'll be sure to send my hard-earned money to the DSCC right away.

Won't you?

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